Just checking in…

Sorry it’s been a bit quiet on the writing front. 
Things have been a little bit strained over here in the Tepid Tea House. It’s not been the greatest of starts to 2017, but we are rolling with the punches. 

To be honest, I’ve had so many feelings and things to write about, but frankly haven’t had the heart to put how I’m feeling into words. I’ve almost lost how to make light of a very rainy month in my life. 

You’ll all be glad to know that I’ve finally accepted some medical help for my anxiety/depression. I’ve started some anti-depressants that I was once so against for personal reasons but feel that this may be the right path for me to take on my road to recovery. They have some strange side effects and I’m riding them out to some degree until they finally start to help how I’m feeling. The good thing is that I’m talking more about my feelings instead of bottling them up, which is something we should all do. 

On a lighter note, N is doing great. I’ve lined and it’s now two weeks until he turns two whole years old. He’s talking a lot more, and is so full of love and life. I used to almost dread my days off with him but since I’ve had him to myself for 4 days straight, I’ve completely fallen in love with him all over again, tantrums and all. I can’t wait for spring to come when we can go on some proper adventures in our wellies, and get ice cream together. 

A couple of months ago, I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I’ve realised that N is that light. He’s taken my hand and he’s pulling me through this very long and dark tunnel and I know that he and his Daddy will pull me through to the very end, where there’ll be sunshine and rainbows and I can have a cup of tea and be happy once more. That’s what I’m hoping, at least. 

Since it’s #timetotalk week, I think it’s really important to be honest with you all, and to be honest with myself. I’m fed up of not being okay anymore. I have to accept that this road may be very lonely and long, but to remind myself that there will be others who are taking the same road, and others that will take our hands and pull us through to the other side. Depression tries to segregate us from anything and everything, so my only advice to those that love someone like me, who is a little bit faulty in the brain department, to take them, hold them, and tell them that everything is okay. A hug can do the world of good. And be patient. Patience is key. 

It’s here that I must once again thank you all once more. Thank you for reading, thank you for your kind words, and thank you for just being there. You all make my world a little less grey and monochrome. I’d love to be able to write again in a few months and tell you that I’ve found that light, and that there’s sunshine and rainbows at the end of the tunnel… so we’ll see. 

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