When you become a mother, everything changes and continues to change.
This same rule applies to the people in your life. There are people Pre-Baby that I thought would stay with me forever… But they didn’t. They became disinterested in me either when
1. I stopped being available to go drinking because I was pregnant/too tired/ I had a baby that needed me.
2. Said baby became a lot more mobile and sticky and less interesting.
Sometimes, I sit and have a think about all of the purple I surrounded myself with before I became a mother. That more than halved when the baby came along, and has depleted ever since. And that’s ok.
It’s just such a shame that after three years, these people continue to leave my life. But it’s not just me that I have to concentrate on anymore. Watching N develop relationships with special people in his life and watching them have better things to do is more than aggravating. It’s fucking heart wrenching.
My child at nearly three years of age shouldn’t be dealing with people ‘just coming and going’. It’s my responsibility as his mum to protect him against timewasters and users until he’s old enough to do it for himself.
You see, as a parent, you have to look out for every aspect of your child’s PIES. Their physical, intellectual, emotional and social wellbeing, until they are at such an age to be able to do so independently.
That’s the sad bit over with.
The friends that stayed, are the ones worth more than just a mention. The ones that we see bi-daily or weekly are the ones that matter. The ones that love and care for your child the way you do is enough to bring you to your knees at times. The ones that know when you’re struggling, so they come and make you a cup of tea and do the dishes for you without asking? They’re the ones that matter.
And these friends are the ones that will stay with you forever. I mean, anyone that has seen you sleep deprived, in need of a wash and an emotional wreck are keepers. And you don’t need many of them. These people become family. Your child’s unofficial aunties and uncles.
And then there’s the equally important friends that send you a message to check in with you, the friends that go off on their merry way but you can just pick up where you left off with them, friends. They’re so important. I love hearing about all their different travels and lifestyles, and they seem enthusiastic enough about my #mumlife tales. They’re fucking wicked.
We all have those special few friends, and it’s important to let them know how much they truly mean to you.
At risk of sounding cringey and ridiculous… I wouldn’t have gotten through some incredibly shitty times without those special few people. I really wouldn’t. The real way to tell if someone is a true friend is to know whether they’d come to you and 3am if you called them.
And I’m lucky enough to have more than a few of them.